Less is more, right?
Sometimes when we communicate, we have a tendency to over explain things. We say it once. Then we say it again, a different way, just in case. Then one more example, to be safe.
Why we do it
I think there are a few reasons.
- We want to be understood.
- Silence feels awkward, so we fill it.
- We're not sure they got it the first time.
- We're not sure of our own words, so we keep adding more words to be sure.
It's a hard habit to break. We think we need to say more in order to be clearer.
In reality, the more we add, the harder it is for the other person to find the point.
Native speakers do it too
This is a common struggle for native speakers too. But it becomes even more commonplace for non-native speakers.
When you're working in your second language, you're not always sure the word you chose is the right one. So you add another. And another.
The funny thing is, most of the time the first version was already fine.
What this leads to
When we say less, we:
- force ourselves to become better listeners.
- give others a chance to participate.
- give ourselves time to think.
- save energy.
- create a little mystery. Fewer words give more power to the words we do choose to say.
To be clear, saying less isn't the same as staying quiet. You still need to speak up in the meeting. It's about making each thing you say count.
What helps
A few things I come back to:
- Say the point first. Then stop. If they need more, they'll ask.
- Trust the pause. Silence isn't a problem. It gives the other person time to think.
- Check, don't repeat. Instead of saying it again three ways, ask: "Does that make sense?"
- One example, not three. Pick your best one.
It's okay if it's not perfect. What matters is that the message lands.
If you've ever walked out of a meeting thinking "I said way too much," you're not alone. And it's one of the easiest habits to start changing, starting with your very next conversation.
Less is more.